Sunday, September 25, 2011

Finding the Joy

I am not doing good tonight.  Part of my heart is about to leave my home- probably for forever.  Monday evening CPS will pick up PrincessO to take her to her new home with her uncle.  We are confident that this a good thing for her.  We are confident that God has other children planned for our home.  We are confident that this is one of the hardest things we have ever been through.  We knew that by accepting foster children we run a very real risk to lose them.  Knew that then, know that now.  It does not change, however, that our hearts are broken.  While we knew it could happen, we didn't want it to.  I think, though, that our grief over loosing her is a good indication that we love her.  Our amazing families and friends have and are standing by us this weekend/week.  God has used them to remind me that I am stronger than I feel, that God is in control, and that we will get through this.  Tonight I don't really want to be strong.  I don't want to do the right thing.  I want to keep this angel that is just as much a part of my being as my children I gave birth to.
God has shown himself so faithful in the last 8 months.  I know that he will continue to be faithful in protecting PrincessO and guiding us.  Even in the midst of my broken heart I am holding firm to his promises.  He is teaching me that my faith extends far beyond my feelings.

Ways to pray for us:

  • Obviously, for tomorrow's transition.  That PrincessO's uncle is ready for the most amazing blessing to enter his life.  That we would let her go, finding the joy in the situation in the midst of the sadness.
  • For Thing1 and Thing2 that they would adjust well to this transition.
  • For Mr.A and me to be sensitive to each other and the boys.
  • For PrincessO's birthmom.  We know that she is making horrible choices again.  We pray that God would intervene in her life like only he can.
  • For the children God already has planned to come to our home.  That he/she/they would be protected even now physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
"For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11


  1. Jana, our hearts are heavy for you this weekend. We love you guys so much and will continue to pray for you and Princess O.

  2. Hug her tight today. Her life has already changed so much because of you.