I am a rule follower. I have always been a very black and white person. Mr. A has added more gray area to my life since we've known each other. Getting older probably has a little something to do with that too. But, in general, I follow most rules and expect others to as well. So CPS is causing great stretches in my life. We are upheld to minimum standards and are told to accommodate the birth-mom whenever she has a complaint (well, within reason). In the last month we have had our licensing inspection, paperwork due, and more complaints from the birth-mom. However, during visits, I am told, that CPS cannot make the birth-mom do anything (other than not harm the child, which I am beginning to question a little). So, even though we work very hard to keep Princess O on a good schedule, if a feeding is supposed to occur during a visit and birth-mom does not want to feed her or get her to eat more than 1 ounce I am told that the baby was just not hungry. Umm...that's odd because she eats more than 1 ounce all of the time for the baby sitter and for us. The only time that it is difficult to feed her is if she is distracted. So, isn't CPS supposed to be teaching her the appropriate way to care for her child? Is feeding cereal from a bottle the safest way to teach her to feed? I know it's still a very common practice, however for a mom that does not know how to read even the basic signs her baby gives her I highly doubt she would be able to read distress signs that would occur if Princess O choked. What's more, birth-mom was allowed to enlarge the hole in the nipple so the cereal could get out. That's not even the best part. No one told me until I brought up my concerns with inconsistent feeding. Had I used that nipple I would have choked her. Then I get told that they thought I wanted the baby fed the actual cereal flakes from the spoon- not mixed with anything,- and that's why the birth-mom didn't feed the cereal off of the spoon. Does no one read the package directions?!?! (Oh wait, that's the rule follower in me. I was the one that knew the words to my high school fight song and school song because I read the student handbook cover to cover. I know, complete nerd.) Then CPS nitpicks my paperwork. Which, by the way, isn't wrong. I don't fight because there are bigger fights coming. But don't worry, I have 40 different ways to fight back running in my head. It's stupid. It's just paperwork. But this is how crazy all of this mess can make you.
So, great big deep breath, LOTS and LOTS of prayer, and LOTS of ranting to Mr. A. There really are more important things to dwell on. Princess O was diagnosed with reflux. She is on medication. She is on a very smelly formula. She is still, at times, Mt. Vesuvius. Lol! She is happy, cooing, laughing at anyone who will play, and playing with her toes anytime she realizes she can reach them. For us. Every time I talk to CPS or the ad Litem they are surprised that she is so easy going. That is not the case during visits. How sad that she is so stressed out during visits. How frustrating that there is nothing I can do to alleviate that stress for her. But I digress...
Thing1 and Thing2 have had a whirlwind weekend with their daddy and oldest cousin, BD. BD's brother HD has been in the hospital with a staph infection in his fibula (leg bone). He did get to go home today (Praise the Lord!), but will be on IV antibiotics for several weeks. Mom, Dad, and HD all did GREAT through the whole scary hospital experience. BD, Thing1 and Thing2 were entertained by Mr. A (and some by Uncle Bacon and Tots) going to see rocket ships, the beach, ride the train, and the movies. I have an absolutely amazing husband who is also a fabulous daddy and uncle.
Right now all three darlings are playing. Thing1 is building rocket ships with the pillows on the couch next to me. Thing2 is trying to "help" Mr. A hang a fan. Princess 0 is trying to roll from her side to her tummy and watching all of the action that her brothers bring. Life gets messier by the minute, but these evenings continually remind me God is good. I can't see the end of the road or sometimes even the very next step, but no matter what He is good.
Prayers for our family:
- HD's healing from the infection. My sister, brother-in-law, and BD's peace of mind now that they are home.
- Princess O's mom to come to a saving knowledge of Christ.
- CPS caseworker, judge, ad Litem, attorneys, other caseworkers and therapists involved in the case- for wisdom and discernment in their decision making for Princess O.
- For Princess O's reflux. She has an upper GI test scheduled for Friday. Pray that she keeps gaining weight and continues to be happy even while spitting-up so much.
- Sanity for me as I end the school year this week.
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