Yesterday, I was getting my hair cut and the hair dresser and I were talking about our kids. I mentioned my daughter, and, even though it was by far not the first time I've referred to PrincessA as my daughter, it held different meaning. If real life had a movie sound track playing you would have heard a flourish of strings that seem to make you take flight. That's what happened in my heart and mind at that moment. It was like I finally let go of the burden of "what if" that seems to lurk right over my head ready to settle at the first moment my guard is down. There are no more "what if I have to give this baby back?" "What will happen when she leaves here?" Now the "what ifs" will fall in line with all of the "what ifs" that I have about the boys. I really don't live in constant fear or worry, but normal mommy/parent thinking. Over the last 3 years God has taught me alot about the fruitlessness of worry. Worry over things I can't change just makes me sour, irritable, and not a very nice mommy, wife, or friend. Worry over things I can change but don't is stubborn pride and sometimes flat out lazy. So, I'm letting go little by little of the fact that I have no control. The push to have control creeps back in constantly, but I'm learning more how to remember that God's plan is always better than mine. I'm learning that I really don't want control.
Next week starts a new school year for us. It will be Thing1's last year in preschool. I'm excited about this year for my little darlings. I'm getting excited myself about starting back at work. I have always loved the beginning of school. I have decided that this year is going to be a year of finding the joy in everything.
"For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland." Isaiah 43:19
Ways you can pray for our family:
- That the adoption process would move quickly and smoothly.
- That the beginning of school starts with excitement and joy for my family as we work out changes in schedules, new sports, work, etc.
- For PrincessA's birth family- that they would be able to move forward from this making healthy choices so that it would not happen again with future children.
- For wisdom and discernment for Mr.A and me as we look to the future of our family. We want any additions to our family to be in God's timing and not our own.
- For my sister's family as they are adjusting to the addition of a 2nd beautiful baby girl. They now have 2 boys in elementary school and 2 girls under 1. Serenity now!! Pray as they continue adjusting that the new baby would bond with them quickly and that they would be given great wisdom and knowledge in how best to help her. Aunt Jen & Uncle Bacon- I'm super proud of your decision to do what you've seen God call you to even when it's hard!